Positive Thinking...

Trying to 'stay afloat' just doesn't cut it sometimes. For the last year and a half, I have gone to school, gone to work, and thrived at being a single parent. It wasn't until I caught a really bad cold, that put me out of commission for five weeks, that I began to realize I may be taking on too much at once. Since then, I have withdrawn from my classes (due to fear of failing), and have dedicated one extra half hour a day to myself. Even though that extra half hour for myself comes out of my sleeping time. Being totally honest with myself though - I think working the night shift is what's wearing me out. Now that I've been transfered to Mother/Baby - I have found a lot of happiness in my job. It keeps me busy, and I love what I do. On the other hand, I'm also sad that I had to withdraw from my schooling. I kept a high GPA, and tried my best. I'm just having doubts that going to school is the right thing... for now. I feel like I have been striving for excellence, in everything I do, for what seems to be an eternity (even though it really hasn't been). Unfortunately, I have found myself on that rat wheel that just about everyone finds themselves on... you know - that never ending circle. Most people reference it to getting a job. They can't get a job, because they don't have a car. They can't get a car because they don't have a job. In my situation, Matthew is my priority, and then working, and then school (to really put it into perspective). For me to supply everything he needs, I need a job. For me to have a job, I have to find time to work. For me to find time to work, I need to be healthy enough, and have ample rest. Which leads me back to square one: Matthew is my priority. School I think would be more of a 'side job' (not quite recreational activity). The only issue with that is that the schooling will pay off in a big way years from now... and only a fraction in the here and now. I am contemplating postponing college until Matthew is possibly in middle school or high school.

It's only 19:37 - and I'm exhausted... can't seem to keep my eyes open any longer. Now that I think about it - we've been going to bed earlier and earlier as the days pass.

Hurricane Wilma is still (supposedly) on her way...

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

- Aristotle